Wedding Tips
Many of my friends are asking me about the advices and resources for the whole process of wedding preparation. Therefore I would like list down here so that it can provide more guidance and helps for your wedding preparation.
Wedding Preparation Schedule:
I am giving you an idea about how long should you prepare for your wedding held in Malaysia or Singapore (as both places has very similar culture depending on their dialect group).
1. Proposal
Suggested TIME: 1 year before
Proposal to your girl friend can be a nightmare to many guys as crushing our brain to think about ideas for proposal is not easy nowadays, many ideas has already been used. But girl’s heart normally can be melted by a little carbonate stone - Diamond.
It become a norm to propose with a diamond ring, but it is not always the case, just a propose idea here.
Just like many guys, I do felt that buying a diamond ring is luxurious especially during this financial crisis, but I started to be in love with it after seeing the glamor and sparkling glow inside the diamond.
The first thing you need to learn is the 4C - Carat, Clarity, Color and Cut.
Carat - to determine the size of the diamond
Clarity - stone carries some impurities with it and the better the stone, the less impurities
Color - diamond has many color due to different type of gas was sipped in during the formation
Cut - one of the most important part of diamond, it depends how to designer cut the stone and make it shines
Diamond shop in Singapore -
- http://www.meysonjewellery.com/index3.asp
- http://www.leehwa.com.sg/
- http://www.skjewellery.com/
- http://www.goldheart.com.sg/
2. Meeting each other parents
Once after your girl friend agree to get married with you, you can set a date for this.
To share the joy and make known to your parents and in-law is a form of respect, and to discuss what to do next and get both families’ agreement for the wedding preparation.
For chinese culture, male’s family need to provide some gifts to the female’s family as a form of appreciation, and all these gift will be presented during the Guo Da Li event.
3. Reserve your bridal house and Banquet Schedule
Suggested TIME: at least 8 months ahead
The bridal house business are very competitive nowadays, and the package are normally quite similar to one another. Many of my singaporean friend will go to Johor looking for bridal house service as cheaper choice. I will recommend that you get some feedback from your friend whom has tried certain bridal house services before making a conclusion and sign up the package.
In KL, you can go to Jalan Loke Yew or PJ SS2 area as they are packed with tons of bridal house companies. Try to understand what you want before signing up a package, and make sure whatever the bridal house agreed was written clearly in the receipt. It may become a havoc if ended up what the bridal house give is not what you expected.
Every bridal house has its own theme - romance, funny, lovely, fairy tale …whatever it is, learn about what your spouce’s idea is more important!
- http://www.redsense.com.my/
- www.lovevisionwedding.com.my
- www.de-casamia.com
- www.redbliss.com.my
- www.lasposa.com.my
As for your wedding banquet, you need to consider whether you want the traditional 10 course banquent or buffet style, in restaurant? Hotel ball room? or golf club,etc …
Choose a date based on your preference, if you are christian, normally is simplier. If you like to follow chinese calendar and good date, it will be good to find and book your place earlier as many will grab that schedule too.
My recommendation is to book your place 1 year ahead, worst come to worst, at least 8 months ahead. It will be very difficult to find a date 8 months close to your date of wedding banquet unless you willing to sacrifice to do it on weekday or weekend afternoon.
Things to consider:
1. What you want - view or food ?
Restaurant normally does not provide a good feeling compare to hotel ball room as there are many pillar around blocking the stage view, but it does provide better food compare to hotel.
Hotel ball room with high ceiling and no pillar, provide a grand feeling for guest, but normally your parent won’t like the food there.
2. Location
You also need to consider the location whether they close to your relative and guest, if you have a grand wedding banquet but the turn out rate is low, it leave a bad memory too.
3. Price
Make sure you are comfortable with the price range, do not do something over your budget, though it is once in the lifetime, but watch your wallet as you have many other spending as well.
4. Submit your ROM application & Buy your wedding band
This is normally done about 1 or 2 months ahead depending on the regulation. Make sure you have all the required document before your submission.
Find Chinese Assembly Hall ROM submission information here - http://www.fecam.org.my/main/index.php?q=taxonomy_menu/3/17
Wedding Band is something represent your love and commitment to your partner. My advice is something practical, and please remember you wear it everyday, so simplicity is beauty.
You can choose white gold, yellow gold, platinum or even rose gold is popular for wedding band.
5. Guo Da Li 过大礼
Suggested TIME: normally 1 month before customary
This is depending on your in-law’s chinese custom. Most of the item are provided in double to have “成双成对”。The normal gift are biscuit, fruits, food, wine or liquor, and some other present, all with good chinese meanings for prosperity and luck.
You can find out more here - http://cherryhouse.free.fr/libing_guodali.htm
6. Wedding Photo Taking
Suggested Time: 3 - 4 months ahead of your customary and banquet
Make sure you are healthy and happy for the photo taking session. It is very important, photographer’s skill only provide the 50% of the success, the rest is depends on the couple’s mood, coorperations and ideas.
You can provide concrete ideas before the photo taking so that the photographer know what you want. Do not assume they totally understand your needs, the couple need to communicate with the photographer oftenly and provide ideas and posture if you think you like to have them.
Lastly, enjoy it !
7. ROM - Register of Marriage
My way is to have the ROM before the customary and banquet, if you are christian and would love to do it in church, you can consider to have the ROM event held in the morning on your banquet day. You can invite the ROM witness officer to your appointed place either in church or your house to have your ROM event.
This could take up about half a day event. The process is basically to make an vow, exchange ring, sign the paper, and you guys are done! and then take tons of picture with your relatives and friends.
8. Customary and Wed Banquet
Make sure you have enough helper and worker before the cusomary because you will be extremely busy if you do not have enough manpower to help you settle all the stuff.
I would prefer to have all the helper from your relatives and friends, as this is fun. If you really can’t find anyone suitable to do certain task, you may consider to pay extra to hire - like Amcee, 大吟姐, or even a band for your wedding banquet.
Helper list:
1. Program manager - a person to help you organize and keep the timing for all event
2. Brothers (Heng Dai) and Sister (Ji Mui) - for the obstacle games during 接新娘
3. 大吟姐 - some one experience for the customary sequence and things to watch out, and saying a lot of nice thing during the event
4. MC/DJ
5. Photographer and Video man
6. Driver for your wedding car
7. Wedding planner - either you hire one or someone experience in it that can help you do the planning
Things to notice during Customary
1. do not take off your shoe when entering the female’s house - it represent you are one of the most important person that day
2. You need a kids to open the car door for you
3. Make sure you carry enough “ang pow” to give
4. Make multiple car horn before reaching the female’s house, make sure the whole town know that you are getting married
5. Seating arrangement for tea session is male on the left and female on the right
9. Honey Moon
Find a romantic place to reward yourself after all the hectic stuff for your wedding. You can sign up a package tour or do you own free and easy travel.
Some romantic place recommended :
1. Greeck Island - Santorini, Crete, Mykonos
2. Japan Hokaido
3. Paris - a city full of ramance
4. Maldives
Wherever it is … you both love it and it become your choice !